Wednesday, 5 December 2012

We Thought We Knew It All. At First.


My gratitude to my Lord. Maybe I do miss my mom a little. Or maybe a little more than a little. Or maybe much more. I had a proper conversation with her today, after a merajuk strike from her. hehe.. sth I did.

Last summer was my first time to witness a spontaneous a vaginal delivery. Yea big drama when I fainted for that. When I got home during the puasa, my mum came and hugged me, she laid by my side on the bed, and said sth like, 'now you know how hard is it to give birth. and I know you'll be nice to me for the next few days' =p hah, she knew it. She knew what I was thinking exactly. Because when I came home, I only told my parents how I fainted, did not mention anything about what I felt or what came to mind afterwards. How did she manage to pop out 8 healthy kids, thats sth I would admire. The power thats been given to super-moms all around the world. Maybe I do sometimes blame her when we had our disagreements. And she had always told me that her past was worse, that she's now a pretty much a better version of her, given what she had. Well that's true. It's hard to become optimistic after you went thru a lot of struggles. Keeping hopes up and faith strong are real tasks. 

For the past a couple of years, I kept pointing out her mistakes. What she should or shouldn't have done. How I could be a better person if she did what I thot she should. Then a friend reminded me, that we could not keep blaming our parents, because they have done a lot more than we could actually imagine. At first I thot 'well thats pretty much the parents' job, they opt for parenting, they should do it nicely'. But then again, we are humans. Back to basics. It's easy to blame others when you can actually be the change you wanna see happen. As what my dad always said, 'You don't need to have the urge to change people. It's not your job. It's God's job'. 

 So thats it. I have faith in God, in my parents, in my husband, in my family as a whole. I have high hopes for them. May Allah grant us jannah and keep us away from the hellfire.  

I'm flattered that mom already bought me the kain baju kurung for my graduation. She always makes sure I have really nice clothes to wear for every occasion. Hmm also she thot I went merajuk when she bought sth fancy for my bro's gf. Well thats another story. 

Sth sweet she did during my last birthday. She knocked on the door, and gave me roses. And she even made the decoration herself, because she said the florist was charging too much. Haha how sweet, always complaining about how certain things are overpriced. Ayat fav, 'kalau buat sendiri ni murah je'. ;) 

Good things always happen I things are going good with mom. And bad things always happen when things are not going great btwn me n mom. Hah, that's God's job. 

Alhamdulillah I received a good news today. For the first time for such a news. Only gratitude to Allah. 

Special thanks to my beloved husband for always keeping me calm during the stormy weather. I appreciate you in all the different ways I could never tell. I love you so, so, so much! 
(eceh, buat ucapan mcm mnang oscar plak :p)

Blaja plak!

1 comment:

Syamira Zaki said...
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