We Thought We Knew It All. At First.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

My gratitude to my Lord. Maybe I do miss my mom a little. Or maybe a little more than a little. Or maybe much more. I had a proper conversation with her today, after a merajuk strike from her. hehe.. sth I did.

Last summer was my first time to witness a spontaneous a vaginal delivery. Yea big drama when I fainted for that. When I got home during the puasa, my mum came and hugged me, she laid by my side on the bed, and said sth like, 'now you know how hard is it to give birth. and I know you'll be nice to me for the next few days' =p hah, she knew it. She knew what I was thinking exactly. Because when I came home, I only told my parents how I fainted, did not mention anything about what I felt or what came to mind afterwards. How did she manage to pop out 8 healthy kids, thats sth I would admire. The power thats been given to super-moms all around the world. Maybe I do sometimes blame her when we had our disagreements. And she had always told me that her past was worse, that she's now a pretty much a better version of her, given what she had. Well that's true. It's hard to become optimistic after you went thru a lot of struggles. Keeping hopes up and faith strong are real tasks. 

For the past a couple of years, I kept pointing out her mistakes. What she should or shouldn't have done. How I could be a better person if she did what I thot she should. Then a friend reminded me, that we could not keep blaming our parents, because they have done a lot more than we could actually imagine. At first I thot 'well thats pretty much the parents' job, they opt for parenting, they should do it nicely'. But then again, we are humans. Back to basics. It's easy to blame others when you can actually be the change you wanna see happen. As what my dad always said, 'You don't need to have the urge to change people. It's not your job. It's God's job'. 

 So thats it. I have faith in God, in my parents, in my husband, in my family as a whole. I have high hopes for them. May Allah grant us jannah and keep us away from the hellfire.  

I'm flattered that mom already bought me the kain baju kurung for my graduation. She always makes sure I have really nice clothes to wear for every occasion. Hmm also she thot I went merajuk when she bought sth fancy for my bro's gf. Well thats another story. 

Sth sweet she did during my last birthday. She knocked on the door, and gave me roses. And she even made the decoration herself, because she said the florist was charging too much. Haha how sweet, always complaining about how certain things are overpriced. Ayat fav, 'kalau buat sendiri ni murah je'. ;) 

Good things always happen I things are going good with mom. And bad things always happen when things are not going great btwn me n mom. Hah, that's God's job. 

Alhamdulillah I received a good news today. For the first time for such a news. Only gratitude to Allah. 

Special thanks to my beloved husband for always keeping me calm during the stormy weather. I appreciate you in all the different ways I could never tell. I love you so, so, so much! 
(eceh, buat ucapan mcm mnang oscar plak :p)

Blaja plak!

Things left unsaid

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim..

So here's the update. I was trying to get back to blogging again but I couldn't do it at first! It took me a while just to figure out how to create a post. *sigh*
I'm sooo out-dated in this blogging thing that I couldn't even find the sign in bar or anything. Or is it because of the layout that caused the problem. So after a few godek-godek here and there, here I am again =)

And why do I decide to start writing again. Sure one thing is that I'm not the consistent type in doing anything. So bersemangat at first and everything will go down the drain and I will pick them up again after a while. Arr~

Another thing is, because of the subject Clinical Biochemistry. Yea, does not sound related. Believe me, it was one of the triggers. I was in class on Monday when the subject first started to roll, and guess what, the lecture got so boring (yup, shud've guessed that folks) and I got my phone in hands and it hit me to check on my blog that's been left untouched for a year now. I re-read some of the posts and it occurred to me that I might have forgotten all about the stuff if I never wrote them in the first place.

Every post has a story behind it. And when I looked at all the pictures again, they remind me so much of the good and fun stuff I had in the last few years. So much for reminiscing, eh? Well it's a sign of ageing you know. 

I read this one old post and I saw the picture of me with the sad face and the entry was about me complaining how hard the day has been, how hard was the test, (and I think I failed. hahaha), and hungry I was, how I was stood up by a friend, bla3.. all the bad stuff. But then I remembered, one thing I did not mention about in the blog was, it was that very evening, in Old Town Square, near the Astronomical clock, (all the dramas need good settings right?),  that I told a friend, 'He's the one'. Even thou I did not get a good reply from that friend of mine, (by good I mean sth like 'congratulations' or 'I wish you the best' or anything pleasing to the ears =p), I was pretty much confident at that time. That friend told me that it was too early to jump into anything, or maybe I was too fragile or anything. But then my reply was sth like, 'You could say anything you want, but I know he's the one'. 
Looking back, I know I still don't regret what I said. And now that 'one' person has become an awesome, awesome husband of mine =) and I wanna write this down because I will, want to be the in the future and re-read this and smile. One of the things I'm glad I did. 

So much for sharing a love story. Haha.. Well it's because I've decided to focus on the pretty things that's happening or have happened in my life. I is trying. Chase away all the bad or negative thoughts that will only gimme headaches. See, I even write that one small so that I don't have to focus on them. Haha. I is trying still. 

Public Health state exam is tomorrow. *freaking out begins as I haven't finished studying the first round*

Thats for now. A long one.

Me, My Husband and food go well together. Taken from our honeymoon in Venice, A lunch at the Grand Canal

weeehuuu!!

it's already December aaaandd, I do not have any entries for 2011. heuhh..

so, here's one (^_~)

this is my fav song during last summer. the most beautiful summer of my life so far <3

oh, and yeah, the very first post as a married woman (^^,)v

My sweetie =)

Home is nice and warm, or hot sometimes :P

The air-conditioner dries out my skin. hais.. I wonder how Syarafi can sleep in the cold temperature without a blanket. Budak kecik ni mengalahkan I pulak.. Sometimes I feel like I cannot stand the coldness from the air-cond. Aaa.. The freaking freezing winter in Prague is really a torture. =( (tiba2 teringat winter yang sangat hebat! aaa..)

I slept for 12 hours yesterday. At about 9 am or so, my youngest brother came into my room and made a sound, 'kok kerekk kokk'.. bunyi ayam kejut pagi2. Haiyo!!

Then this morning, he asked me, 'dah berapa hari kakak tak tido? ni bangun lambat' (x_x)

(did u not have sleep in days? why wake up so late) =P ! he said that with a very sweet face and soft voice, and had a very innocent look! hahaa.. I love him.

tp, oh, budak 4taun ni, nak kena ketuk kepala.. hahaa..

He wakes up really early in the morning. At about 7am, he's already up and energetic.

Oh, I remember the first day I got home, I arrived at about 12.30am that night. Syarafi woke up and stayed up until about 5 in the morning! Cool la u boy.

I think I learn alot from this young boy. Too many to mention.

Remember when we were young, the adults taught us the do's and don'ts, good things and bad things in life, how we should behave, etc~

But as we grow up, we forget all those values in life. And sometimes these little kids somehow teach us or remind us what we forget =)

There are blessings all around us. In everything that we see, every single thing that happens. Either in disguise, or they are right there before our eyes.

Happy Ramadhan to all Muslims (^^,)
Have a good day to non Muslims too!

May the future bring a brighter day, The end of our wait

Salam and good day everyone ('',)

and Happy Friday to my Muslim friends.

I'm not good in any sorts of writing, so I'll just be sharing videos. ^^,

Look into my eyes
Tell me what ya see
U don't see a damn thing
Cuz u can't relate to me

U blinded by our differences
My life makes no sense to u
I'm the persecuted one
U the red, white and blue

Each day u wake in tranquility
No fears to cross your eyes
Each day I wake in gratitude
Thankin' God He let me rise

Ya worry 'bout your education
And the bills u have to pay
I worry 'bout my vulnerable life
And if I'll survive another day

Ya biggest fear is getting a ticket
As ya cruise your Cadillac
My fear is that the tank that's just left
Will turn around and come back

Yet do u know the truth of where ya money goes
Do u let the media deceive your mind
Is this a truth that nobody knows
Has our world gone all blind
Yet do u know the truth of where ya money goes
Do u let the media deceive your mind
Is this a truth that nobody knows
Some one tell me

Oh let's not cry tonight
I promise you one day it's through
Ohohoh my brothers
Ohohoh my sisters

Oh shine a light for every soul
That ain't with us no more
Ohohoh my brothers
Ohohoh my sisters

See I've known terror for quite some times
57 years so cruel
Terror breathes the air I breathe
It's the check point on my way to school

Terror is the robbery of my land
And the torture of my mother
The imprisonment of my innocent father
The bullet in my baby brother

The bulldozers and the tanks
The gasses and the guns
The bombs that fall outside my door
All due to your funds

You blame me for defending myself
Against the ways of my enemies
I'm terrorized in my own land
And I'm the terrorist

Yet do u know the truth of where ya money goes
Do u let the media deceive your mind
Is this a truth that nobody knows
Has our world gone all blind
Yet do u know the truth of where ya money goes
Do u let the media deceive your mind
Is this a truth that nobody knows
Some one tell me

Oh let's not cry tonight
I promise you one day it's through
Ohohoh my brothers
Ohohoh my sisters

Oh shine a light for every soul
That ain't with us no more
Ohohoh my brothers
Ohohoh my sisters

American do ya realize
That the taxes that u pay
Feed the forces that traumatize
My every living day

So if I won't be here tomorrow
It's written in my fate
May the future bring a brighter day
The end of our wait

Oh let's not cry tonight
I promise you one day it's through
Ohohoh my brothers
Ohohoh my sisters

Oh shine a light for every soul
That ain't with us no more
Ohohoh my brothers
Ohohoh my sisters

I have to admit that what is happening now in Palestine is a part of our fault - the Muslims, we ourselves.

We gave room for the Israeli to take advantage, and so they did.

And can we blame ourselves for not being strong?

Yes we can.

Because according to the history, we were once strong and we (our ancestors) did dominate the world.

If Salahuddin al-Ayyubi were to see that we are not being the successors to defend Baitul Maqdis that he once conquered,

he must be really, really disappointed.

The situation is unbearable.

May Allah bless all the people that have made an effort to bring peace once again to the sacred land.

In the name of humanity, every human deserves a shelter and a place call home.

Teeny tiny technical problem

Dear friends,

I do not know what is wrong with the sidebar gadget, but somehow the 'My friends' thoughts' column has gone crazy. Only Yushah Latif's link seems to appear available.

(nak pulak yg tu lekat kat situ :P haha)

I've edited a few times, and I think I still have to work a bit more on it. *dush3..tumbuk the new layout for causing me to face this kind of problem*

OK, till later, have a good day everyone!

Salam 'aleyk..

You can't bargain with the truth.

Salam and g'day everyone ^^,

Another video, from Yusuf Islam or formerly known as Cat Stevens.

He's one of my favs. His music is very relaxing and most importantly, that's how he conveys the message of peace. He's a very decent and polite man, I must say.

You can't bargain with the truth
'Cause whether you're right or you're wrong
We're gonna know what you've done
We're going to see where you belong - in the end

You can't bargain with the truth
Whether you are black or you're white
We're going to know who's right
We're going to see you in the light - in the end

O and every little thing you do
You'd better know it's coming back to you

You can't bargain with the truth
'Cause one day you're gonna die
And good's going high,
And evil's going down - in the end

You can't bargain with the truth
Whether you're old or young
We're going to see what you've done
There'll be nowhere else to run - in the end

You can't bargain with the truth
'Cause whether you're rich or you're poor
You're going to meet at the same door;
You're going to know the real score - in the end

And if you want to help your fellow man
You better start with what is in your hand

You can't bargain with the truth
'Cause whether you're right or you're wrong
We're going to know what you've done
We're going to see where you belong - in the end

You can't bargain with the truth;
'Cause if the world you chose
No further than your nose
Will be where the doors will close- in the end
You can't bargain with the truth
'Cause for those who were deceived
There'll be no reprieve
There'll be no time to believe - in the end

O and every little thing you do
You better know it's coming back to you

You can't bargain with the truth
'Cause one day you're gonna die
And good's going high,
And evil's going down - in the end

p/s : the new layout is bothering me. ahh.. but haven't got time to change balu pnya.. just have to bear with for quite some time.

jaa ne!

p/s no.2 :: hah! succeeded to change the layout! =D re-edited 12.24pm.

yeay!